I've Got Friends in Many Places

Lots of people are just like DYING to be my friend. It is evident by all the friend requests I get on social media (like two per year), and the number of people who read this blog (like one per year). 

I was innocently minding my own business when this random phone number called. I usually don't pick those up because the callers always think I'm fucking with them, and that I truly am their long lost granddaughter. Like Anetta who continually called to leave me pleading voicemails to pick up the phone again because obviously I WAS her granddaughter. This went on for ages. It was heart breaking. I should have just let her adopt me. 

Back to here and now I get this random call from a certain Gerg, allow it to go to voicemail, and then proceed to listen to this super detailed message about how me (my name is Aunt Linda in this scenario) did not receive my/her invite to his kid's graduation. 

I decide to text because he says several times that he'll continue to call until he reaches me. Then this happens. 

God Greg, are you related to Anetta? I know how much you guys want to be my friend but I swear I'm not related to you. Just kidding. Greg figured it out eventually.