30 Days of Squats and Toast

So I have had a few people ask me about this 30 day squat challenge business that I am doing despite my butt feeling like it is going to fall off. Here is a chart of the mechanism I have instituted for a toned ass.. We shall see. All I can verify thus far is that you will have to talk to your ass with an aggressive tone in order to force it to cooperate.

Photo Credit:http://30dayfitnesschallenges.com/30-day-squat-challenge/#_

Anyway, back to business here. So the method I use to do this nonsense is as follows. Step one see how many squats you are supposed to do and divide it by three. If you end up with a number that isn't perfectly divisible that is fantastic because you can round up or down depending on your mood. Step two, get some butter (or Earth Balance in my case) and put it by the toaster. Step three go face the toaster with bread in hand. Do your first set of squats. When you are done put the toast in the toaster and do your second set whilst smelling the decadent aroma emanating from the hot box. Take a tick of rest and try to finish your last set before the toast pops. If you fail it will only make you pump it harder to finish the last set anyway.

I must add also that this blog is not, nor will it ever be a fitness blog. I feel there are more important things in life than looking all sexy. For example; cake decorating, watching Harry Potter and running around after Justin when he gets home from work to try to spank his apple bottom. All though I suppose that is a catch 22 because I am pretty sure all of the aforementioned items have a degree of sexiness involved with them.

Breaking Butts

So I'm writing this from my phone because my ass hurts, and I can't get up. I feel it is my duty to warn people about this so called "squat challenge." I decided this seemed like a good idea because cottage cheese (enough said). Essentially it is an exercise program to tone buns and thighs. "You will have such a great ass," they say... No. A dysfunctional ass more like it. 

The exercise series commences with 50 squats. Each day that passes thereafter you add five additional squats. Every fifth day is a rest day. By the end of the month you will have worked your way up to 200 something squats. 

Today was day one for me. I did my 50 squats. The first 25 or so were okay. I held each squat for about ten to fifteen seconds because that is what we do in yoga. The difference is that in yoga we do like three here I did 50. By number 30 my legs were shaking uncontrollably but I suffered through with my ten second holding for every last one of those fifty. 

Unfortunately I decided to complete these squats directly before my biochemistry class. I tripped trying to get in and out of my truck. My legs nearly gave way on the stairwell so I was forced to clutch the railing the whole way down. I'm still not 100% from my eye injury so I basically walked to class winking uncontrollably and having my knees give way every few steps. 

Luckily I somehow made it to class where I tried my hardest not to move throughout its entirety. I then walked back to my truck in the dark without falling once. I am home now. I am anxious to see how tomorrow compares. Worst case I will have Justin call in sick to work, fashion myself a rickshaw, and have him run me around campus all day in it. Win-Win.