Texting Troubles

I have a few friends that I text frequently. I also text Justin like I'm his fan girl because I am. Sometimes I'm only mildly aware of who I'm text messaging because I think I've text messages a particular person last and don't even pay attention and just click on the top text and go for it. Lazy? Brain dead? I dunno but it makes for some interesting conversations I suppose. 

Me: We have to be careful Rhinocerossing because there is a metal thing sticking out of the bed

Lacy: wait... What?

Me: Omfg sorry I meant to send that to Justin I just did a ton of yoga because I ate too many cookies and I am out of it. While doing yoga I bumped into the side of the bed and there is this metal thingy poking out. Rhinocerossing is not sex I promise!

Me again: It's really dumb but if one of us is standing at the foot of the bed facing it the other one runs like a rhinoceros and knocks the one standing on to the bed

And me one more time: I swear to god we don't have sex like rhinos omfg

Lacy: OMG that is the most amazing accidental text lmao

Me: I seriously hope that you don't think we practice beastiality 

Lacy: I would hardly think that. Plus if you were legit into rhinos I need to know two things: how is it accomplished and where do you keep the rhino?

Somehow my friend believes me and doesn't think I'm crazy which is awesome. I chalk this up as a win. 

Rhinocerossing

This weekend I started this new thing with Justin in the bedroom. I don't know where it came from it just happened. Kind of like hammer pants only better because you can't get too fat for it. In fact the more weight you gain the better. 

I call it Rhinocerossing. Justin stands with his back to me facing the bed and I run like there is no tomorrow and rhinoceros into him. He then flies across the bed because I am so forceful. It is amazing and possibly should become an Olympic event. 

Honestly I feel like our next house should have a super long hallway in it so I can get a good running start. Adulting at its finest and goals. Yes that was a sentence. 

I found this photo on the interwebs that depicts what happens during Rhinocerossing.

I'm the gentleman running the cliff is the bed and Justin is my unsuspecting victim.