Babby Farms

Justin and I finally had the chance to visit Babby Farms

For those of you who haven't heard anything about them here is their website. Essentially you are graced with the presence of a tour guide for an hour as you explore the various rescue animals on the farm. I have a hard time seeing animals in cages however most of them seemed decently happy. And the fact that they were mostly rescue animals made me feel that much better about it. Anyway my advice is to go when it is cooler outside; either early morning or later on in the season. I did not get many pictures because it was sweltering.

Most of the photos I took were of goats

Exceptionally Photogenic

I see that smile

Justin feeding a sheep

Hey how did this get in here? Photo Credit: narwhalnetwork.com

This is either Justin trying to muzzle a goat or the goat trying to eat Justin's hand... Not sure.

Wanted to steal this one.

and this one...

and every other animal they had

They do have far more exotic animals than that shown above. But they are in cages with smaller holes in the wiring and the pictures would have been super sad. All in all it was a good trip.

Sealing My Fate

I am very fortunate to have a handful of friends that I am close with, along with some wonderful extended family and of course the bf and his family. Though I feel like a broken record in saying this incessantly, I just feel like it is time to say it again. I have been falling to pieces as of late between getting everything prepared for graduation, and arranging affairs for PA school applications. Though these two milestones are fantastic, exciting ventures they do come with an element of stress. It is scary having no guidance in the whole process but in the end I suppose that will only make things that much more rewarding. Or perhaps in the end it will just make me hook on the streets for money (and or cake) since my chances of actually getting into PA school are miniscule at best... but hey it will work out ;) {kiddng about the hooking-gosh you guys}As most things come to pass, these two things will soon be in the past and there will be plenty of other new and exciting things to worry about. 

In the meantime here is a good interpretation of what I looked like today when I was talking to one of my BFFs about life and all of its troubles. I am the one with the data logger unicorn horn on my head since I am a bit eccentric. My friend is the one looking at me like I am crazy, because I am crazy... and also she is mad that I wore grey too, perhaps she is even jealous of my mustache because it is pretty amazing, and maybe the whole conversation I had with my friend today wasn't even real?!? There is no telling.

photo credit: reddit

The Nightmarish Army on Elm Street

Justin and I have been falling victim to that Elm beetle army front that is slowly taking over the city. This makes sense because we do live on Elm street. It is quite nightmarish. The other day, before Justin left to visit his parents, we saw one of these outside our apartment door.

Photo Credit: Extremely brave man http://hastybrook.blogspot.com/2010/08/meet-my-new-friend.html

The following conversation has transpired via text.

Me: Remember that beetle we saw that looked really maniacal, and had horns for days?

Justin: Nope, no clue about a beetle at all. How is watching Harry Potter?

Me: Really? You don't remember? Not the 1000s of beetles that have been outside our windows but that big mofo dressed in camo like he was plotting some sort of attack. He was crawling really evilly.  

Justin: Nope don't remember seeing that, sure it wasn't your imagination?

Me: Also remember how I said I smelled something weird in here earlier? Well the smell is still here. Did you ever step on one of those one beetles by accident when you were a kid and it stunk everything up? I think this is a similar situation.

Justin: Did you step on a beetle?

Me: No, I would have known had I stepped on that particular beetle because it would have carried me around the apartment complex since I am 1/100th of its size.

Justin: Then what is the smell?

Me: I think it is that big beetle in here hiding and farting.

Justin: No your big butted man is over here.

Me: You are impossible.

Justin: Impossible to resist?

Me: You probably put that beetle in here and told it to fart while watching me watch Harry Potter.

Justin: I'm not that clever.

Turns out it was the Elm beetles causing the musty smell. I had placed a sticky trap on the window sill in hopes of quelling the army, and the few that had fallen onto it had released their noxious gasses.

In my defense of accusing the innocent party, this particular bug (super huge ass one) looks guilty.

I am not sure who this fearless man is click here but he got some awesome photos of this Balsam Fir Sawyer beetle. Yes it is named Sawyer; how something so scary looking could posses the same name as my niece I will never know. 

My Life Motto is a Robot

Remember when Justin had a hotness plan like forever ago? Well, he is at it again. This evening we were in the pool enjoying a swim after he worked out. He kept remarking about treading water to lose weight. 

Justin: Are you going to eat those rolls from the store?

Me: No, I don't like them as much as the buns I normally get. 

Justin: *sigh, I wish you bought less carbs. 

Fast forward...

Justin: I'm hungry. 

Me: Put the broccoli on the stove then (potatoes were in the oven-there are no carbs in potatoes if Justin asks)

Justin: you just ate pie and ice cream and you suggest I eat broccoli?

Me: pie has carbs

Moral of the story? When I went to the store to buy lettuce and ended up with pie and vegan ice cream (don't worry I bought two bunches of kale and a head of leafy lettuce to cancel out the fat because that is how that works) I didn't know that it would all be for me, but it looks like it is! Win-Win. Gosh I would be really good at conflict resolution because I say win-win a lot. 

In other news I tried to take a quiz today and got this as a result. 

Apparently no quote from Disney is good enough at encompassing my life motto. Probably because no Disney character ever said "let's cancel out the fat in pie with three heads of lettuce," or "Lets go feed the narwhals donuts." But that robot makes sense. And I think he is trying to tell me to stop takin quizzes. 

I am Not A Pretty Woman

I took one of those dumb quizzes the other day that I am completely and utterly addicted to, and it told me I was a whore. The title of the quiz was “What Movie Was Made Based on Your Life,” or something similar. Since I have this strange obsession when those quizzes pop up to immediately complete the quiz, I could not resist when I saw a friend of mine had completed it. I thought it was comical that my girlfriend who had taken the quiz had a result of “Man of Steel.” I wondered if mine would warrant the same response since I am quite manly if I do say so myself. 

I happily went through the motions of answering vague, superficial questions and soon enough my results were being tallied. It was like; the movie that was made based on your life is “Pretty Woman.” So basically that quiz thinks I am a prostitute who gets kicked out of high end shops in Beverly Hills, California. For the record I do not have sex for money, and do not get kicked out of stores in California. Of course there was that one time that I was kicked out of my gynecologist's office like 8 years ago... so there is that. But that was in Boise so it doesn't count. *Sigh unfortunately while I don’t look very good in the color red (as my good friend Julia Roberts does), I do find that I like gerbils and so does Richard Gere so at least there is that similarity. 

Photo Credit: http://www.thestudioexec.com/2013/07/hollywood-legends-richard-gere-and.html

Shit Happens

Friday night I had Jack in the Box curly fries. I remember them tasting a bit off, and for the first time in my life did not polish off the entire container. I drifted off to a seemingly restful sleep leading into the weekend. At approximately 2:00 am I was awoken because I was horribly freezing. This was slightly odd considering it was near 80 degrees in my apartment and I was under two heavy blankets. For a few hours I tossed and turned and tried to snuggle up to the lump of warmth next to me. Alas, my attempts at warming myself were futile. I rolled out of bed and stood in the shower for several minutes finally warming up. Upon shutting the water off, I immediately froze again. 

About ten minutes after getting out of the shower I began to get the most intense “I am about to vomit everything I have ever eaten in my entire life” feeling ever. This feeling and the chills lasted until Sunday night. I did everything to try to throw up but nothing ever came to fruition. I should have known a storm was coming. At some point Sunday during the day I made it to Primary Health to see a doctor to make sure I wasn’t dying. They suspected pancreatitis but fortunately for me what I had contracted was merely a gnarly virus- possibly a food poisoning virus. 

Fortunately for me these nagging symptoms that did not allow me to eat, drink, walk, move, breathe, sleep, think etc ended as I mentioned above on Sunday night. However they reason they ended I’m quite sure is because the great shit storm began. I will spare you the details… 

Monday at 8:30 am I was to report for duty at the law office. After a night of unpredictably timed trips to the bathroom I wondered how on earth I was going to manage maintaining a professional appearance if I accidentally did not make it to the bathroom on time. Having experienced nothing even close to this in my life ever before I slowly got ready on that Monday morning all the while praying to the shit gods that any and all poop and related substances would stay in my ass. I packed a bag which I referred to an “in case I shit my pants ten times bag” at headed out the door.

I wondered what I would be like to walk in to the office and greet the attorney with a handshake and a smile as I backfired audibly in my pants. How would he feel when instead of welcoming clients with a friendly, professional demeanor I ran to the bathroom and dropped a Hiroshima bomb? I waited. I waited to die… waited to live... waited for a certain absolution that would never come. Okay I know that may have been over-dramatic stealing a quote from Titanic, but in all honesty Monday was one of the most terrifying days of my life. Praise Allah no accidents were had, nothing even close in fact. Unfortunately for me though the next few days all the way up until this moment I could not keep any food inside of me for more than about fifteen minutes. I finally was able to throw up again, like 100 times.

Now I am better. And that being said I could go for some curly fries….. JUST KIDDING!

"I'll never let go, Jack-in-the-Box, I'll never let go..."

Damaged Décolletage

It's been one hell of a week. But fortunately for myself it is nearly over. More on that later (ps not work related) And let me just preface this post by saying I haven't eaten food and retained the nutrients since Friday. So my brain is broken due to lack of nutrition. 

Me: Hey you're chin stub is scratching my décolletage. 

Justin: What on earth?

Me: My décolletage-read a dictionary-gosh

Justin: What is  deycah....that?

Me: like this soft skin layer on the top of women's chests and necks. It is really sensitive. If you rub it too hard (with beard parts) it rubs off and a women grows hair on her chest. 

Justin: really? No... I can't spell it so I can't look it up. 

I thought for a moment that he would believe me, and that I had him right where I wanted him. Unfortunately I could neither maintain a straight face nor my composure. Would have been awesome had I withstood because I could have totally pretended to grow chest hair in a couple of days. *sigh

Ps had to include this photo because when I searched to read the definition I liked the disclaimer wiki gave especially when coupled with that woman's (Marie Antoinette's) face.