Cake Assesment

As my undergraduate career comes to a close I find that I am reflecting back on the beginning of my education. Not in a nostalgic kind of way, but the kind where fingers get glued together, glitter covers my lap, and bits of colored paper liter the floor. Yes that’s right, with all of this dull homework I have decided to put a new twist on things and hand in crafts like a kindergartner instead of 15 page papers, and throw glitter bombs at the audience during oral presentations. Just kidding, but seriously I have been in “homemade” hell as I have been diligently laboring over my graduation invitations. I just got my fingers unstuck from the super glue; thank God too because I have my senior assessment test today and I couldn’t very well be walking around campus flashing the okay sign at everyone (my thumb and index finger were glued together) because then they would all think I was crazy which I suppose isn’t saying much that isn’t already true. 

Hindsight I probably should have just left things the way they were because when I show up for the exam today I totally could have been like:

“Yes I need accommodations because fingers are glued together.”

 Then they would say, “alright ma’am what can we do yer for,” (because they talk like Hagrid) 

And I would reply: “I need cake, vegan cake, and lots of it. Also I need someone to feed it to me because I am impaired.”

Then I could literally eat cake instead of taking my senior assessment and the world would be a warm place again despite all this snow.