As my undergraduate career comes to a close I find that I am
reflecting back on the beginning of my education. Not in a nostalgic kind of
way, but the kind where fingers get glued together, glitter covers my lap, and bits
of colored paper liter the floor. Yes that’s right, with all of this dull
homework I have decided to put a new twist on things and hand in crafts like a kindergartner instead
of 15 page papers, and throw glitter bombs at the audience during oral presentations. Just kidding, but seriously I have been in “homemade” hell
as I have been diligently laboring over my graduation invitations. I just got
my fingers unstuck from the super glue; thank God too because I have my senior assessment
test today and I couldn’t very well be walking around campus flashing the okay
sign at everyone (my thumb and index finger were glued together) because then
they would all think I was crazy which I suppose isn’t saying much that isn’t
already true.
Hindsight I probably should have just left things the way
they were because when I show up for the exam today I totally could have been
like:
“Yes I need accommodations because fingers are glued
together.”
Then they would say, “alright
ma’am what can we do yer for,” (because they talk like Hagrid)
And I would reply: “I need cake, vegan cake, and lots of it.
Also I need someone to feed it to me because I am impaired.”
Then I could literally eat cake instead of taking my senior assessment
and the world would be a warm place again despite all this snow.
