Smart Phones

I have this sweatshirt that I wear around the house frequently. It is your standard pull over hooded sweat shirt with one of those pockets in the front. I find this very handy since I often skulk around the house like a rabid kangaroo stuffing chocolate and other things in my pouch as I go.

This morning I awoke from my slumber and did what every human being does; rolled over and text messaged a friend of mine. This particular friend is from work and does not fully understand how much “me” I actually am since we are work mates. She kind of gets it though. Anyway I then stood and placed my phone in my sweat shirt pocked as I went to void the contents of my bladder. Upon finishing I reached in my pocket and unlocked my phone. I then set it on the counter and turned on the sink and flushed the toilet. After washing my hands a strange sound-bite looking icon was in my text history. I frantically picked up the phone and it said in fine print ‘read.’

I turned up the volume on my phone and pressed play and as clear as day you could hear the sink turn on and then a toilet flushing. As quickly as it started it ended. I was mortified. The icon disappeared after I had played it. I waited with bated breath hoping that my iPhone was playing tricks on me. With no ellipses appearing on my screen (indicating a response was coming from her) I began messaging frantic apologies. At long last she replied saying that yes she did get the recording and that she will forevermore use it for blackmail. With a sigh of relief I thought about how much worse that could have actually been.  

I don't know how to send a sound bite. But I do know that I will never take my phone in the rest room ever again so long as i live. I will also stop muttering my evil plans for world domination out loud when my iPhone is in the room.