Sunday, August 2, 2015

Abandon Shitz

Man on Phone: Security

Me: Yes, I was coming back from lunch when I almost stepped in poop. 

Security Man: Okay?

Me: Yes human poop. There is a pair of lacy black boy shorts filled with feces in the parking lot. 

Security: Are you kidding me? That's disgusting. 

Me: I didn't know who to call but I didn't want anyone to accidentally step in it. 

Security: What is the approximate location of the poop?

Me: In employee parking... The last parking spot closest to the freeway. 

Security: Groundskeeping and House keeping will have to duke it out because I'm not cleaning that up. 

Seriously who poops their pants and then leaves the evidence in employee parking of the hospital??? These are strange times we live in. Shudder. 

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