Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Tribal Pants Transporter

Today I decided to be fashionable and wear some tribal design leggings to school. It seemed like a good idea in the beginning. But all the way to class I kept thinking about how skin tight the leggings were. My shirt was too short to cover my butt so I was very self-conscious about the leggings suddenly ripping open revealing my bare ass. I tried to quell my fear by rationalizing that at least I had on underwear. Then I realized that my thong was nude colored and it basically would just be like I was running around butt ass naked.

When I walked to class I held my messenger bag over my ass. I was walking with such ferocity because at this point I felt like it was only a matter of minutes before they ripped wide open. I kept my line of vision at the ground careful to avoid eye contact with anyone who may realize that my pants were about to spring from my body. In class my fears only exaggerated because the anticipation of making it back to the parking garage was killing me. I was border-line running by the time I reached the parking garage after class, and my bag was bouncing violently off my ass-making a loud thumping noise in its wake. It was as though I was running away from my own ass and spanking myself at the same time all while a bomb was about to explode.

It was then that I realized I am better than Jason Statham because I was able to transport my own ass across campus despite the fact that it was about to blow up (the pants not my butt), and I didn't even need a car to do it. Then the bomb didn't even go off so really I am awesome. Except when it comes to wearing leggings... that I am not awesome at, unless they have palm trees on them. So for now the tribal leggings will hang in my closet until I invest in longer shirts that will match them.  

Oh and here are some Narwhals
Photo Credit: Reddit

Monday, September 29, 2014

JC Penny the Beetle and Friends

My sister has always had a real knack for creativity. On top of that she can draw very well, and always has been able to. She also holds on to a lot of things from our younger years... perhaps because she cherishes the many memories of me; her favorite person in this whole wide world.

Oh the child videotapes that exist which showcase our sisterly love. My most favorite video is when my dad filmed us sitting under an apple tree in the orchard in front of our New Hampshire log cabin on a late summer day.  We were both bedecked in our OshKosh B'Gosh striped overalls. Hers were pink, and mine were blue. My father had tried to stage the perfect setting for the video that would act as a commemoration in our later years. Maecee read to me from one of her story books, she must have been five maybe six and I was 2 maybe 3. She read away as I persisted to pick my nose and wipe it all over her perfect overalls. She continued to read, not noticing the disgusting behavior I was partaking in.

Back on track...Do you remember the Beanie Baby Craze of the 90s? Well my sister came across something the other day that we had done in our youth. A hazy memory coupled with the photos that I am about to post reminded me of a time when we sat down together and had our Beanie Babies make up their own Beanie Babies as imaginary friends. I know we were living in our home in South East Boise so I would like to say that I was roughly 9 and Maecee was 12. My drawings were lost, probably because I throw away nearly everything. But hers have survived the past couple of decades and are in pristine condition.

There are a couple dozen more. I think you get the gist however. If Ty is still in business, which I think they are, I do think they should hire my sister because some of these are just amazing and need to be manufactured.

Edit** Apparently I already told the Apple Tree story.. But it is such a fond memory I had to tell it two times http://malinamylife.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-muffin-man-and-his-apple-tree.html

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Mystery Man

Yesterday was Saturday which hosted my last two exams for the week, YAY- glad that is over.

I awoke at four in the morning to attempt to get some last minute cramming in. I was studying away in the living room when suddenly I heard this strange gurgling/wheezing/coughing noise. This noise persisted for approximately 15-20 minutes. I eventually concluded that it must be this creepy guy who is usually outside smoking non-stop. His apartment is clear across the complex but being that it was four in the morning and the only other noise was the gentle pattering of raindrops I presumed that his coughs must be carrying across the courtyard.

I went about my business, went to class, took my exams, came home did a bunch of homework watched BSU fail miserably at football, watched a movie and at last hit the sack. I awoke to a strange knocking sound at the front door around 6:56 AM. Justin was asleep next to me, but I in my bravery decided to let him sleep (after spanking him of course) as I deduced what could be going on. Maybe that wheezy guy wasn't that smoker? Maybe he came back, and maybe it was someone trying to abduct me.

After arriving at this logical conclusion my first thought was:

I literally thought of the wand that one of my friend's (highly talented I might add) made me a few years back for my birthday which is right on top of my dresser. I seriously ruminated on how exactly this would work to defend me for about thirty seconds before I realized that perhaps that wasn't the right option to save myself. I wonder what an intruder would do if I brandished my wand as a mechanism of defense? They would run away, duh!

Oh and by the way I tried to take a photo of the wand for you with my highly technical iPhone 4 which I think is on the fritz. I attempted the Reparo spell on my phone camera but alas, it did not work. These were what I got:

With Flash- hindsight it is possible my wand was in the midst of some kind of spell when I took this.

Without flash, notice my antique nautical dresser that my late grandmother refinished for me some 26 years ago

Here is a photo that was taken years ago by my friend herself-it showcases her excellent wand making skills much more than my photos do:

Photo Credit: My friend :)

and this post just turned into a Harry Potter post again. Oops. I blame the approaching Halloween and blustery weather that has been had here in Idaho as of late.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Stemming From Fear

I just spent about twenty minutes trying to get the balls to kill the huge spider in the sink.

Ya that is a tomato stem… It really was much more menacing looking and exponentially bigger than this crappy phone camera shows. I had a dream last night that there was a spider who could jump really high (around five or six feet) and ran extremely fast. Because of this, I was too afraid to reach over the spider to turn on the sink. I stood from a safe distance observing waiting for it to move slightly closer to the drain. Finally after staring for twenty minutes or so I realized it hadn’t moved. I approached the rabid beast only to find that it was a tomato stem. Awesome. 

In other news I found this photo of Seattle on Imgur and thought it was pretty neat

Photo Credit: Imgur
And this photo of The Ships in Bulgaria 

Photo Credit: Vasil Anastasovski found on Imgur

For some reason the Bulgaria photo reminds me of Lord of the Rings. This scene in particular...
Photo Credit: LOTR

Thursday, September 25, 2014

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Remember how excited and proud of myself I was like two days ago when I submitted everything required to apply for grad school? Well that was fun while it lasted. This morning I noticed a refund processed for my app fee from the school I applied to. I checked my email to find a note from one of the grad school employees telling me that I am an idiot and despite stating that I was an Idaho citizen I filled out the international student application. *sigh

I immediately processed what I believe was the correct application (I will keep you updated if it isn't). I then responded to the person who emailed me telling them about how sometimes I labor under the delusion that I am from England because I love Harry Potter so much. I had it all written out and then I thought: 'Hmm should I send this? No better not send it. Not every one understands weird Harry Potter fans.' I highlighted it all and instead of hitting backspace I think I hit enter? which apparently sent the email?
My face after I sent the email
Photo Credit: Harry Potter
So hopefully Liz the grad school coordinator likes Harry Potter, because if not my odds of getting in to grad school this round are equivalent to me finding Hogwarts. *sigh

Photo Credit: Harry Potter

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

10 Points for Gryffindor

Last night directly before I was going to bed Justin asked me if I had seen Emma Watson's speech at the United Nations regarding feminism. He had seen a blip on his Facebook news feed and just decided to mention it in passing; having not watched the speech himself. I retired to our room, pulled the video up on my laptop, and watched for thirteen minutes as Emma Watson delivered what I consider to be both spectacular and moving speech.

The speech revolved around equal rights for men and women which I obviously find important. I need not preach about the issues at hand since if you care to be enlightened, Emma Watson does a far better job then I could ever do in the video below. Toward the end of her speech she stated a few impressive proclamations which inspired me so much that I finished my CASPA application for PA School, and then my supplementary application for the one grad school I am applying to this round. I honestly do not think I stand a chance at getting in for the upcoming year owing to my lack of medical experience hours (I come in at about a third of what is liked.. not having the minimum hours puts me at the bottom of the application stack), but the point is that I tried. Because as Emma Watson said: "If not me, who... if not now, when?" and she was right.

I am excited and terrified all at the same time. If you know me personally then you are well aware of the uphill battle that I have faced while finishing my undergraduate degree and combating health problems. But despite those adversaries I never gave up. So for me- submitting that application was monumental. As miniscule as it may seem in the grand scheme of things, I am proud of myself.

Monday, September 22, 2014

I Blame Nicki Minaj and Justin

A cautionary tale for all is what I have today. So I lined the perimeter of the front door with spider traps to catch all eight-legged enemies who trespass. Despite a few casualties from Justin and I falling victim to the perfectly placed traps, we have been quite successful. Today when I was scrambling in and out of the front door repeatedly; each time going back in to grab something else I had forgotten for class, I kept noticing a big butted spider squirming on the trap.

'Hmmmm,' I thought 'no one should have to suffer until their imminent death like that. I shall spray him with toxic poison which will burn out his eyes when I get back because at least then it will be over with quickly.'

I frequently thought of the spider whilst taking my first of four exams this week. Perhaps my desire for a reparation of sorts was owed to the fact that like Justin and Nicki Minaj, that spider had a big caboose. Well the foul beast saw my weakness for juicy behinds coming from a mile away...

When I returned home I sprayed the trap with toxic spider killing spray. Much to my surprise with the first squirt not one, but two spiders sprung to life, dislodged from the trap, and ran like the dickens. I was flabbergasted and wound up having to step on one while Nicki Arachnid Minaj hustled to god knows where.

photo credit: Nicki Minaj
Hindsight tells me that the big butted enemy listened as I praised Justin's big butt and watched as I spanked him from time to time (every day goings on). He probably heard me watch that half an hour Nicki Minaj concert yesterday when I was supposed to be studying, and saw how enraptured I was by her amazing apple bottom. He then must have plotted while thinking to himself, 'I will shake my big bottom to hypnotize this fool into setting me free, it is my only hope.' Well Mr. Spider well played, well played. 

PS Happy Birthday Frodo and Bilbo Baggins

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Dwayne Wade is my Soul Sister

So remember when I bought these pants to get back at Justin for wearing that horrible cut off sleeve shirt?

Photo Credit: Roxy.com
Well my plan may have backfired. I was cleaning today when I came across Justin's ESPN magazine stash. Fate had it that the April edition was on top. I glanced at the cover, noting that Dwayne Wade was dressed pretty fabulously. Then I immediately did a double take.
Photo Credit: ESPN magazine April Edition

Dwayne Wade owns my leggings!

Photo Credit: ESPN Magazine April Edition

Now Justin will probably claim that my new leggings are highly fashionable and perhaps even want to borrow them if we ever go to an NBA game. Which is fine because his behind would look delicious in them...

Also today in 1937 the book The Hobbit was released by J.R.R. Tolkien. Lots of exciting things going on in my world!

Photo Credit: LOTR

Saturday, September 20, 2014

First Class Problems

I tried to give Justin a bath with a moist towelette today and he just was not having it which is weird because I thought he would find it both soothing and relaxing. 

I awoke at 3:00 a.m. because my post nasal drip was having a party in the back of my throat. I decided in my state of misery to stay awake since class started at 8:00 a.m. (had to be up at seven). Obviously four more hours of sleep just would not be a good thing?? I hate middle of the night logic. After six hours of lecture and lab I came home in desperate need of a nap. While I napped Justin decided to go have lunch with some friends. I awoke as soon as he returned home still in a bit of a haze.

Since my throat was being a jerk Justin decided to make me some tea. He brought me the tea basket so I could select what flavor to indulge in. It was then that I noticed at moist towelette at the bottom of the basket and pocketed it. Once my tea was done Justin sat back down to watch dumb baseball and tell me about his lunch date. 

Justin: They all went to the Astroboys concert, I would have gone to that. (I don’t know if that is the name or not)

Me: Oh what is that?

Justin: a group, a boy, a man and his band.

Me: Oh wow, ya that sounds interesting.  (They must be like Boyz 2 Men only perhaps they wear astronaut outfits)

Anyway Justin then tried to be cute and get under the blanket where I was hiding my wet nap so I ripped it out and started cleaning off his back. This did not go over well. He screamed like a little girl and got so freaked out that his big butt knocked my lemon tea over and then I was sad. I thought he would appreciate it since in first class on the airplanes they give you wet naps and those other hot towels. I should know because one time I flew first class. I was just trying to give Justin an exquisite taste of what it is like but apparently he doesn’t like flying first class. I guess this is good though since coach is much cheaper.

Also I know it is Caturday but this long eared owl was too cute not to share.
Photo Credit: http://i.imgur.com/GoJ9N.jpg

Friday, September 19, 2014

Rock Fever

It is cold/flu season and of course I have fallen victim. Not because I frequently get sick but more so because I have four exams next week, and that is usually when things like this happen. Yuck. I’ve attractively been quarantined in the bedroom with a box of tissues, cough drops and aspirin. Justin checks on me periodically, most of the time I have a tissue up one nostril and look super sexy. 

About a year ago Justin and I just developed this language that revolves around the “rock” aka Dwayne Johnson. We frequently describe things by saying phrases like: I love you more that the Rock loves rock candy, I love you more than the Rock loves baRock Obama, I love you more than the Rock loves Rocking Horses…  you get the gist. Well in honor of Justin being fantastic by making me tea, buying me cupcakes and putting up with my incessant borderline Shakespearian melodramatic whimpers and whines I present this shirt: 
photo credit: Imgur

Apparently it is real; I found it on Imgur. I do think it would be slightly better if it had a photo of the Rock on it...preferably when he is in his traditional wrestling garb. But, regardless I think that Justin needs it… especially after all he has done for me. Next thing you know he will be buying me a horse, a spaceship or my dream house or something.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Spiders Flee Before It....

So I should have taken bets for how long it would take Justin to step on the Spider traps. Today (one day after the trap's erection)  Justin got his big big toes stuck... I suppose I would be a liar if I did not reveal that I myself stepped on them just moments after making fun of Justin for falling victim. Then I had to take my foot out of my shoe because I couldn't move. Then I got the trap stuck to the carpet. What is that thing they say about karma???

I am happy to report that thus far there have been two casualties with the traps (spiders not Justin and me). Hopefully our successes will continue so that I can return to a somewhat sane individual who does not jump ten feet every time I notice a crumb or speck of dirt on the floor.
Me when I see spiders or things that kind of look like spiders.... or things that look nothing like spiders. Photo Credit: Family Guy

I also would like to report that I may have gotten my slick hands on a UK first edition of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for $1.00. While this particular first edition isn't worth as much as some of the others it is certainly worth more than $1.00. Also in relation I found this photo on Reddit:
photo credit: reddit

Supposedly some man abandoned his 1967 Ford Anglia in the forest and went back 40 years later to see if it was still there. The photo absolutely reminded me of the Ford Anglia of Mr. Weasely's which gets left in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts in the Chamber of Secrets book/movie.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Harry Potter Business (the new book releasing---don't get too excited)

So yesterday I received a post owl which informed me of the up and coming new book which will be releasing in October to muggles and wizards alike. Okay, not really... but I did read about it on Facebook.
photo credit: Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Creature-Creatures-Plants/dp/0062374230/ref=la_B001JS3WK2_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410907539&sr=1-1
I am excited and not excited all at the same time since J.K. Rowling did not pen this. I have read a few philosophical books which discuss the Wizarding World, and have even written a few term papers on Harry Potter philosophy myself.  However these books (and my paper) are always written from a perspective which analyzes the wizarding world from our own universe. From my understanding this book will be written as though the author is in the wizarding world and I just struggle with that notion. 

Rowling has said several times that she is done publishing books which are centered around the magical world of Harry Potter, however I would be fibbing if I did not admit that I have always held a little slice of hope that she would continue on with the legacy that she left behind. Especially with her recent additions of snippets from the wizarding world which she has added to the Pottermore game. That being said it is tough for me to just accept that someone else has picked up where Rowling left off in an attempt to deliver something up to par with that which has already been published by the absolute genius Rowling. 

I realize that Jody Revenson (author of the new book mentioned above) contributed to this series of books:
Photo Credit: Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Page-Screen-Filmmaking/dp/1612185916/ref=la_B001JS3WK2_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410907445&sr=1-2
I have not read any of them since they initially sold for $1,000.00 and again not Rowling’s work. I must admit my curiosity was piqued by the series when it released a few years ago. I haven't really thought of it since but now that a second book is on the cusp of release my wheels are turning. At the end of the day I suppose my inner turmoil is moot since they say you can't judge a book by its cover, and I honestly do need to just buck up and read it methinks... that way I will know if it even comes close to the masterpiece that Rowling created.