Tuesday, September 9, 2014

What Flavor Pringle's?

I awoke Monday morning feeling as I usually do; half-asleep and dreading the fact that Monday’s are my long days. Then I came face to face with a beast and was forced to “deal with it” since Justin had left for work. I wielded my samurai sword (bottle of spider spray) and valiantly battled until the death. It was the size of the guy’s head on a Pringle potato chip container when its legs were included in the equation. It did not have a cute bowtie and mustache however but a sinister pair of penises. Despite this fact I still exemplified courage in the darkest of times when it CRAWLED DIRECTLY AT ME. It even lifted its front two legs and shook its man parts at me like it was soliciting some kind of sex. Why spiders are always trying to get some from me, will forever remain my life’s greatest mystery... that and how to truly get through platform 9 ¾. Regardless, I feel that these events have again solidified that fact that I am a Gryffindor through and through. 

When Justin arrived home he did comment on the fact that the crumpled remains of the beast were quite large. He praised me for my bravery and promptly flushed my victim down the toliet. Today may have been a looong day but at least victory was mine. 

It should be noted that today I learned the man who invented Pringles was partially buried in a Pringles can upon his death.Which flavor of chips was selected to hold his remains? Why, original of course.

***Edit: I feel like I should clarify a few things, yes it was a spider I killed Monday morning, and yes it really had penises (i.e the punching bag looking participles on hobo spiders which I am 99% sure are their reproductive organs but I am still too shell shocked to try to Google hobo spiders to see if their punching bags are indeed penises).

Photo Credit: LOTR

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