Monday, September 15, 2014

Carne Aspider

Apparently spiders think they should fuck with me on Mondays. After volunteering, class, class two, and class three I arrived home to a jack hammer next door from the maintenance people swapping out the carpet. The neighbors decided to set up their lawn chairs directly outside of our front door and supervise the carpet swapping out. It was marvelously fun to try to get in and out of the apartment while they rubber-necked to peer inside our dwelling as we came and went. 

Then of course there was the screaming conversation Justin and I attempted to hold whilst the walls were vibrating. We made an executive decision to leave the premises and find us some dinner.

At last we arrived back home after my getting some Noodles and Justin getting his carne asana/asada?? fries… that is Spanish I think for meatalicious (incidentally he asked for no sour cream and wound up with extra… so much so that it appeared as though he had ice cream fries if that is even a thing). Yuck, let’s get back on track after that horrible sentence that was not even a sentence. So I put on my sweatshirt so I can be comfortable. I am sitting on the couch with my lap top catching up on Facebook when I look down and this damn white spider is crawling up my shirt a million miles per hour towards my face. I have no choice but to grab it with my bare hand because I am brain dead. I calmly stood up and walked to the sink where Justin was doing dishes and said: “you will never guess what I have in my hand.” I promptly washed it down the sink while I had a cardiac infarction and tried not to die.

Part of my thinks that it was the ghost of the spider I killed last Monday but it was more crab-like and less humongous. Anyway I nearly shit out Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory because that damn thing scared the hell out of me, and then it tried to eat my face. I hope that the past two Mondays are not indicative of how every Monday will be from here until the end of the semester because that is just no Bueno. 

This will be next Monday Photo Credit: Imgur
On a positive note: there was this extremely stinky smell coming from the neighbors for the past six months or so, I am hoping they finally had whatever issue they were having resolved with replacing the carpet. Talk about stank. 

***Edit- When I entered the meme it made my top paragraph weird and I can't fix it :(

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