Showing posts with label talking to myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talking to myself. Show all posts

Thursday, May 19, 2016

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...."

Remember that time when I wore that new shirt to work and it kept smacking my ass, and I didn't know it was my shirt? Then I gave some guy weird looks because I thought maybe it was him playing grab ass even though he was too far away to actually touch me unless he had a very long stick. 

Today I came out of the bathroom and bumped into a work colleague. I started a full on conversation with her as we walked back towards our neck of the woods. She was so immensely interested in what I had to say that she remained dead silent. I laughed coquettishly at my own remarks as I made eye contact with the man I falsely accused of fondling me a couple weeks ago. 

Out of nervousness (stemming from the last strange encounter we had) I turned around to see if my colleague was smiling at him too. She wasn't. She apparently had gone to the cafeteria. So now that guy thinks I talk to myself which is awesome. Totally reminded me of this horrible time I had when I was an awkward teenager at the water park. Everyone pretty much thought I was mute back in those days. Except of course my handful of friends. 

My sister, one of her friends, and I went to this water park that had newly opened. They wanted to ride together on the two person raft for this particular slide. I was like awesome I will ride on the two person raft by myself because that's how I roll... or slide. 

As if that wasn't borderline sad enough I then was carrying my raft back up to get in line again because I had so much fun with myself obviously. So thinking the other girls are directly behind me I begin to carry on a full blown one sided conversation with them because I had to make up for the time when I was pretty much mute at school. 

My words caught in my throat as I noticed this particular crush of mine (now 30, married and a little on the obese side possibly missing a tooth). He smiled and I almost died turning to give my sister the "that's HIM," look. She wasn't there. Yup. Awesome. So here I was carrying my two person raft all alone and talking to my imaginary friends. Dear teenager me ; I am still me in many ways. Except now I guess  I have a car, a Justin, and a rather impressive collection of "Harry Potter," books.