Thursday, May 19, 2016

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...."

Remember that time when I wore that new shirt to work and it kept smacking my ass, and I didn't know it was my shirt? Then I gave some guy weird looks because I thought maybe it was him playing grab ass even though he was too far away to actually touch me unless he had a very long stick. 

Today I came out of the bathroom and bumped into a work colleague. I started a full on conversation with her as we walked back towards our neck of the woods. She was so immensely interested in what I had to say that she remained dead silent. I laughed coquettishly at my own remarks as I made eye contact with the man I falsely accused of fondling me a couple weeks ago. 

Out of nervousness (stemming from the last strange encounter we had) I turned around to see if my colleague was smiling at him too. She wasn't. She apparently had gone to the cafeteria. So now that guy thinks I talk to myself which is awesome. Totally reminded me of this horrible time I had when I was an awkward teenager at the water park. Everyone pretty much thought I was mute back in those days. Except of course my handful of friends. 

My sister, one of her friends, and I went to this water park that had newly opened. They wanted to ride together on the two person raft for this particular slide. I was like awesome I will ride on the two person raft by myself because that's how I roll... or slide. 

As if that wasn't borderline sad enough I then was carrying my raft back up to get in line again because I had so much fun with myself obviously. So thinking the other girls are directly behind me I begin to carry on a full blown one sided conversation with them because I had to make up for the time when I was pretty much mute at school. 

My words caught in my throat as I noticed this particular crush of mine (now 30, married and a little on the obese side possibly missing a tooth). He smiled and I almost died turning to give my sister the "that's HIM," look. She wasn't there. Yup. Awesome. So here I was carrying my two person raft all alone and talking to my imaginary friends. Dear teenager me ; I am still me in many ways. Except now I guess  I have a car, a Justin, and a rather impressive collection of "Harry Potter," books. 

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