Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Hey Jeu's Guys

A friend of mine asked me to proof-read her college paper because let's face it; I am such a scholar and gentleman. The following conversation transpired. Let me preface by stating that my Spanish is very limited and I have no idea what we are saying to each other the majority of the time.

Jessica: Who is Amarillo? (referring to my computer's name which showed up as editing her paper)

Me:Amarillo from my understanding is the color yellow in Spanish. I didn't set up my lap top. If I had it would have been named Voldemort.

Jessica: All the Spanish I know is inappropriate. I know puta and cavrone.

Me: Isn't there a Puta Canta resort or something? I didn't know that was a bad word.

Jessica: I also know bedejo.

Me: Bedejo that must mean bedroom ejaculation.

Jessica: Kinda, Its like pussy   (not sure which word she is referring to)

Me: Punta Canta maybe that is it?

Jessica: Bendejo

Me: oh a bent ejaculation. Like has a bendy trajectory.

Jessica: juevos

Me: like Juevos ranchero? I don't know what that is but I thought it was food.

Jessica: it means balls so jeu's rancheros is eggs (balls) so a nut sack is referred to as jeu's as well context is important with this one. Pince me jeu's is not a nice request fyi.

Me: is Jeu's pronounced like Jews because I am going to have to be careful when I ask for juice or when I say, "hey jeus guys," like I do. People will be like balls guys?

Jessica: apparently my computer does not like the word juevos. I am glad no one can hear me right now.

Me: Slash read this horrible conversation. Or should I call it a ballsy conversation.

Jessica: You should tell Justin we had an entire conversation about balls

Me: He would probably not be surprised.

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