Thursday, May 5, 2016

Tye Die

Today I wore a new shirt. Justin hates when I shop sales because I'm like, 'cool I got this shirt for five bucks,' but it adds up. With shopping sales I wind up wearing earmuffs in July and bikinis in December because you have to purchase from the opposite of the season that's currently being advertised. I'm working on the shopping. Anyway I wore my new out-of-season long sleeved shirt in 84 degree temperatures today. I was just so excited and couldn't wait months to wear it even though it seems like every time I inhale a week passes.

So this fantastic shirt has all these ties and pulleys. I spent most of the morning at work trying to hitch them together in a fashionable manner. Apparently I missed the most crucial tie. The one around the waist. It has two strings which I think are to tie yourself to someone you don't want to leave you, or possibly to a tree you don't want chopped down because each string is like 2.5 feet long. 

So I was walking, and I left our private office area, and was out in the hall by where 1,000 people from IT and the call center are. I was walking down the hall wondering who the hell was touching my ass. I'd whip around and stare at my ass and nothing was there. Then I'd start walking again and it'd hit my ass again. Then I'd turn around like; "caught you mother fucker," but the son of a bitch was so stealthy they had already disappeared. Unless it was this one guy that was like ten paces back. I'm pretty sure he was more afraid of me than I was of him. 

Well hell if it wasn't the damn tie from my shirt. It was reaching up between my legs like a complete perv and slapping my ass. I was like... this never would have happened if I didn't buy clothes on sale. Justin is so right! 

My girlfriend found this cat video when I attempt to describe the incident I was having to her... I think this animal is my spirit animal. 

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