Big Butted Problems

Justin: My butt is too big

Me: ya right!

Justin: No really, I had to suck my butt in to squeeze into these jeans

(I turned around to check out the pants)

Me: uhh did you know you have a huge hole in the ass of those pants?

Justin: ooohhh... That's why they were on the ground then.

Big Butt Problemz.

I wrote this a couple of days ago but I feel like I should share our dinner menu with you from this evening before I post it. Today I had an oral presentation and did pretty darn well if I do say so myself. In order to celebrate Justin offered me whatever I wanted for dinner. This of course is dangerous. We went to Whole Foods and I got a salad and avoided cake which was hard. Next we went to Boise Fry Company and got three large containers of fries. Justin ate at least half if not more than half of the fries. Then he got a double stacker from Burger King and 20 chicken nuggets. He admitted that he may or may not have ordered too much food but he ate it all!

I hope it all goes to his butt so it can get more booty-licious... Except he already is pretty darn booty-licious ... Hmmm

Also I found that cat I trapped in the sticky traps the other night. It was quite bald looking. It gave me the evil eyes but did not run away. I think it was trying to show me what I did to it. Possibly trying to plot revenge. Sheesh, Cats. Anyway, I didn't have time to try to pet it since I was on my way to the presentation. 

Cat Traps

There is this cat who is black that is in our apartment complex. You may remember it. I was plotting to steal it at one point until Justin realized that it could be our neighbor's cat. Anyway for the last few months I have petted it every time I see it outside and it LOVES me.

This morning I saw it out by the pool at about 8/9 in the morning. It stared at me from outside as Justin moved a couple of boxes out while leaving the door slightly ajar. I could tell it really wanted me to pet it. It was like it was foreshadowing...

Fast forward to this evening. I arrived home from volunteering after dark. I noticed the cat waiting for me by where I park (about 300?? feet from my front door). I reached down and gave it some pets then went on my merry way. Little did I know I was being stalked. I opened the front door and paused for a moment to get the key out of the door handle. All of the sudden I heard this huge ruckus and meow as my spider trap sticky paper which lines the threshold of our apartment went about three feet in the air and attached to it was the damn cat!

It took off like a rocket. It ran clear across the complex, towards the direction which we had just come, at top speed making a terrible noise in its wake. I stared, which was all I could do. I listened as the apartment complex dogs barked as the strange cat covered in sticky traps made a scene. I shut the door momentarily and peered out the through a crack in the blinds in search of any witnesses. Anyone/everyone that saw that definitely thinks I am a cat thief, and that I stop at nothing to steal cats.
*sigh

Once I realized the coast was clear of people I went for a walk in search of my victim and discovered the sticky traps stuck together with the most gigantic clump of cat hair I have ever seen sandwiched between them. It was sitting right next to someone's big ass potted plant next to their front door. I thought about picking it up but #1 there were once dead spiders on the trap and #2 I did not want to risk getting caught with the evidence.

Alas, no cat has been found as of yet. In fact I would not be surprised if that is the last time I ever see that poor kitty. It will no longer love me but fear me... now I know what Voldemort feels like. No wonder he is so sad.