Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Goat Boobs

I have this new friend who is amazing. To be honest over the past few months I've accumulated a couple of new friends. Along with my closest "old," friends (which I mean that in the nicest way possible) have made life much more enjoyable. Who would have thought there was such a thing as a more enjoyable life when I have a rotund bottom to spank whenever I feel the desire. I know what your thinking; no I do not spank my own bottom although it is pretty meaty if I do say so myself but it just isn't satisfying to spank because obviously I know it's coming. I'm happy to report that Justin still is the victim of my violent spanking outbursts. And he loves it damn it; at least that is what I tell myself. In all seriousness though things with Justin are spectacular. 

Back to my new friend. She has a farm. It is wonderful because of course all I want to do is pet animals until their fur falls off, then make blankets out of it. Over the past month or so I've been lucky enough to visit her farm thrice. Two times we rode horses. Nine times I tried to catch one of her FIVE cats. Anyway she has goats and they apparently really like to be milked because if my boobs were about to be exploding I'd want to be milked too. 

Today I found this thing on Pinterest. Normally I can't get tricked into Pinterest things but today I was like omg you can wash pillows? And so I did it. Trouble is one of them basically became a huge sack of water so I had to milk it. And I was damn good at it. There was video evidence of this wonderous moment however due to technical difficulties (brain lapses on how the fuck to post videos on this blog) I'm unable to offer up the ten second amazing pillow milking. Justin can attest to the fact that I milked the pillow because according to him I got pillow milk all over the laundry room floor, but in my defense I was milking and holding the camera phone and I'm not perfect. 

I think I'm ready for the goats now. Yes I realize this must come as a complete and total shock that this random post is the post that revives my much neglected blog. Like Malina has been dead silent for months and she comes back to talk about goat boobs? 

Maybe some day I'll get into the whats and why fors of the whole silence situation and maybe someday I won't. I guess you'll just have to stick around dear readers... That is if any of you are left. 

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