Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Musical Chairs

I am having some tremendous chair misfortune when it comes to selecting seats in all of my classes. One day in Biology I picked a seat that leaned severely to the left. I had to fight with the chair throughout the first thirty minutes or so of class to remain facing forward. Eventually my legs tired out and I sat facing the man on my left; I am sure he was quite weirded out by this but it was that or have my legs turn into jell-o after constantly tensing my muscles. I told the girl on my other side, who my back was to, that my ass must be lopsided and my apparent shunning was nothing against her.

In Botany I selected the seat closest to the door. I keep sitting in it because I like to be able to make a quick exit in the event that anything goes amiss during class (paranoid much?). Anyway if I lean just right in it, it pretends like it is going to dump me out of the seat and I jump like six inches out of the chair and grab onto the table. People around me usually eye me in a ‘what the hell is wrong with you?’ kind of fashion when I face my near death experiences. I am beginning to think that they wonder if I am a PTSD victim from an earthquake, and that I must be hallucinating about a massive quake.

Today in Biology I laughed to myself as I avoided the seat which leans severely to the left. I plopped down in a different seat and avidly began taking notes. The boy next to me kept grunting and making snide remarks under his breath. I repeatedly ignored every comment until almost the end of class. I finally gave him a small nod and said ‘mmm hmm,’ when he said he was bored from all of the review, it was tremendously boring. When class ended he turned to me and struck up a conversation:

Little Boy who looks like he is 19 years old: “Do you have any friends?”

Me: “Yes?”  

Little Boy who just offended me because I must not look very friendly: “Do you know anyone in this class?”

Me: “My Botany lab partner is right there, and there are a few other familiar faces in here.”

Little Boy who I now noticed is wearing cubic zirconia earrings about 2 carats in size: “Oh, well we should swap numbers so we can study sometime.”

**okay Romeo, seriously? I have like 10 years on you!

Me: backing away “uhhh…okay,” running out door leaving little boy to eat my dust.

I hate being non-confrontational because I never know how to act in these weird situations. And I can never tell if someone is hitting on me or not. I would suggest one thing though, if someone wants to hit on someone else they should not have their opening line be; “do you have any friends?” He probably wasn’t hitting on me.

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