Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Au Nasty Naturel Lotion

I got a new lotion from the health foods store the other day. I have been trying to come up with the proper way to label said lotion –scent wise. I finally have arrived at what I feel is the perfect description: outhouse flavored candy scented.

Unfortunately for Justin I plan on using every drop of this stinky paste so as to not have wasted any money. I only put it on at night however because if I put it on during the day I fear that people who need to use the restroom will sniff in my direction and be highly confused. Perhaps they would even drop trou and relieve themselves on me. 

In other news the semester has commenced. Thus far I have had the pleasure of attending five of my seven classes. In those five classes I will be required to make a total of five presentations *sigh. If these go anything like the other times I have given speeches I will no doubt be talking about fornicating polar bears again. I have a tendency to black out if everyone in the room is watching me. Though I suppose public speaking (glossophobia) is the number one fear… the number two fear if I am not mistaken is pooping in public. I find this highly acceptable because it is just awesome that the number two phobia has to do with number two. Also if I ever accidentally forget to scrub off the outhouse flavored candy scented lotion maybe everyone will just fear me. 

 It should be noted that I attempted to find something which confirmed my listing of #1-2 fears however Google kept showing me photos of spiders. (Google you bastard! I thought we were friends) It has been a year since I have taken Abnormal Psychology, and though my memory is usually pretty accurate I could be mistaken about the most common fears. Please accept the following as my apology:
Photo Credit: pixdaus.com

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