Thursday, August 14, 2014

A Twist of Fate, Farm of Cake

Today was weird. I have been devotedly preparing for my GRE examination which was scheduled originally for today. I received an email yesterday, less than twenty-four hours prior to the start of my exam, stating that the testing facility I was supposed to complete the exam at was under construction. It was noted in the email that despite noise-cancelling headphones and foam earplugs being provided that the noise would still be disruptive. They gave me the option to call the test proctoring company and reschedule at a different facility since they would be under construction until February 2015. So long story short- six phone calls, a shit ton of crying and being angry, and a few hours later I am now scheduled to take the exam in Oregon next week... three hours away from home. 

I booked a hotel and read reviews about the town I will be staying in. Apparently women there get cat called a lot and should not go out after dark alone so Justin will be making the trip with me since despite my best efforts to become more manly; I have failed miserably. 

To get my mind off from the whole situation I decided to run a few errands this morning. I don't want to give many details on what I am about to divulge because the perpetrator is at large, and last I saw looked like they would cut me. Anyway I witnessed a terrible car accident where a maniac, possibly drunk, definitely has a meth lab in their basement, person clipped the front end of another person's vehicle. I seriously have to be cryptic as shit because I gave a witness statement to the police officer in favor of the innocent party (since they were, after all, innocent). I am quite sure at any moment the police will be here to swear me into the witness protection program. I hope I can go live at a cake farm because those are real, or at least they could be. And I bet cake farms don't have the GRE.

After doing my civic duty I decided to get some lunch because I am an emotional eater. I went to Quiznos, ordered my sandwich and waited for my turn to pay. At last I was next in line for the register when the person in front of me came up short $8.39. 'What on earth would society do with out me?' I wondered as I handed over the cash to save the woman in her embarrassing moment. Anyway, it was then that I came to the realization that of course I was not supposed to take the GRE today because society needed me today. Fate intervened so I could be in the right place at the right time in two different instances today. Now I get to go live on a cake farm! 

So I googled cake farm and I instead found a farm cake. I will accept this as payment from the universe in lieu of going to live on a cake farm (I know, I am so unbelievably nice). However I will need to have a narwhal on top of that cake too. In fact, just remove the silo and replace it with a narwhal. Yes.

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