Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Jesus Loves Recycling

I recycled Jesus today. Well not Jesus exactly but a magazine about Jesus and holy people. I tend to personify things so what better name to give the mini-magazine than Jesus?

Technically my work mate was the one who put it in my recycling bin because she saw how much of an internal struggle I was having. She can be really strong and brave; whereas I'm like "if I throw Jesus away spiders will come crawl in my mouth," because that could happen. Except he wasn't thrown away he WAS recycled so... That's what Jesus would want right?

In all seriousness this extraordinarily kind woman gifted Jesus to me. She advised me that the stories in Jesus were beautiful and I should leave him in the waiting room. She then kept asking what I liked to drink. I was worried she was angling at trying to bring me a drink; mayhaps even rufee me with a 'honk if you love Jesus,' kind of drug. I was terrified she would come back to see how I liked Jesus and see if I put him in the waiting room like she asked while possibly giving me a drink that would make me feel even worse for recycling him. Then I'd have to sit there and lie about Jesus while accepting more gifts. Jesus would probably resurrect himself and call out of the damn recycle bin right in front of everyone. 

Fortunately I transferred Jesus from the little recycle bin to the big locking recycle bin, and the woman never returned. For now all is well in my world. If I should come down with the plague you'll all know why. 

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