Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Phil-ing Sick

This weekend when Justin and I returned from our mini vacation I awoke the following morning feeling a bit under the weather. This was slightly annoying but nothing I couldn't deal with. 

As the day wore on I developed a strange ringing in my one good ear. Seeing (or hearing) as how I am completely deaf in one ear I tend to go slightly bat-shit when anything happens to my other ear. I'm a little tempted to walk around with a single ear muff or a one sided Princess Leia hair as a preventative measure. I have a funny feeling the lady at work who tells me to brush my hair more would not be able to stand either one of these fashion statements. Huh. That kind of makes me want to do them more. 

In all seriousness I grew increasingly more worried as the seconds of ringing turned to minutes, and the minutes turned to hours. Justin kept talking to me since after all we are in a relationship and we communicate. 

Justin: "What do you feel like for lunch, Phil?" 

Me: (huh weird I wonder why he is calling me Phil) "uhhh whatever you feel like. Cake maybe? 

Justin: "Do you want to go to Primary Health? I'll do whatever you want to do, Phil."

Me: (did he make up a joke and I totally don't remember? Why does he keep calling me Phil? I'll just ignore it) "yeah sure I feel like maybe my hearing isn't as good as it normally is. 

Justin: "okay well we can go, Phil."

Me: (wtf enough with the Phil)

Like ten more conversations transpired where Justin called me Phil since we wound up going to Hastings to look at Harry Potter stuff before the doctor (priorities). Finally we got all checked in and Justin was reading a sports magazine and discussing the articles. 

Justin; " oho North Carolina; oh wait I don't want to read about how they lost, Phil."

Me: "okay why do you keep calling me Phil?"

Justin: "what?"

Me: "I'm not Phil why are you calling me that?"

Then he started dying laughing and making fun of me. Apparently he wasn't calling me Phil. I'm not sure what the fuck it was he was saying all those times but he mumbles so it is totally his fault. 

When the doctor came in I was quick to explain the dire nature of my ailment. Including everything about Phil. The doctor was not impressed and I'm pretty sure he thought Justin was fucking with me. And I still wonder if he was. Except he swears up and down he wasn't. I kind of trust him with every ounce of my being since he is my better half. Or maybe Phil is. 

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