Monday, October 21, 2013

Mustaches and Beards

I had to go and get the second round of my tuberculosis shot today.  I entered the facility where I checked in and was told to wait a moment. I plopped down in a chair when a woman came out of the restroom and took a seat near me. She told me I had something on my face that looked like "dirt." After a few failed attempts to get it off I proceeded toward the bathroom hoping to find a mirror.

Upon opening the bathroom door I immediately was hit in the face with the most eye watering poop smell I think I have ever been bombarded with in my life. After nearly passing out I held my breath and walked straight to the mirror to check out my face situation. It appeared as though the derbies from  the sun dried tomato version of wheat thins I had devoured before class had made a sort of mustache that resembled dirt on my face.  I gagged (from the poop smell) as I brushed away the bits of flavoring as fast as I could.

Once I had wiped everything off I came back out to the waiting room where Mrs. Stink-Ass was sitting. I gave her the best 'I may have had a wheat thin mustache but at least that smell does not come out of my ass' look that I could manage as I said "I think I got it all." Fortunately at that point I was called back for my appointment. 

As I think back now, I am curious as to just how many people noticed my mustache today. A heated argument took place in my philosophy class (directly before I drove to the doctor's office). The class deals with philosophy of epic fantasy such as Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I often times am seething in the back row of the class as... people who are less educated about the Harry Potter series than I am state absurd things.

I must have looked particularly menacing today as I sat there with my brow in a furrow perched atop the highest row (back row) in the class room. I stared daggers into the back of little miss know it all's head  (you know the type there is one in every class). She tried to make an extraordinarily crass argument which I refuse to get into on here because none of you probably care nor would you want to spend like eight years reading the million page document I would produce. Anyway (I'm just a little irritated still obviously) I guess it is a good thing that mustaches are in these days because I can just pretend that I was trying to be a hipster I suppose. Maybe on Wednesday I will sport a beard. 

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