Halloween already?

Though I have not been big on Halloween in recent years I thoroughly enjoyed the holiday as a child. Every year I dressed up as a clown because I was terrified of clowns. I will have you know I actually cured my own phobia from the exposure I was giving myself (now if only they made believable spider costumes).

I will never forget when I was in fifth grade and it was freezing outside on Halloween. My friend and I decided to sneak into the classroom for recess to eat candy because the conditions were so terrible.  I was dressed in my full clown getup including the wig, the jumpsuit, the face paint, the red foam nose and huge plastic clown shoes. We tried to hide as nonchalantly as possible in the back of the room but unfortunately were discovered by a teacher that was not our own. It may or may not have been my rainbow colored clown wig… There is no telling really.

My friend took off like a rocket being launched into outer space. I on the other hand attempted to run twice and fell within about a step each time owing to my choice in footwear. Loud plastic banging noises echoed all around me as I tried to scramble to my feet… It sounded like I was trapped in a room full of empty milk jugs as I desperately was trying to flee the scene. At last I found balance. I had to run with my legs spread and arms out like I was on some kind of balance beam.

I think these might be Ronald McDonald shoes but these are similar to what I wore.. Mine were all yellow however.

I recall thinking to myself, ‘just run she will never catch you… and even if she does you are in full costume just pretend to be someone else.’ I continued to huff and puff with every effort of escape that I had in my loins. I kept looking over my shoulder, casting the scariest clown faces I could muster at the enemy. However this did not coerce her to run away as it would have done if roles had been reversed. She caught up to me within about twenty seconds at a leisurely walking pace.(totally reminds me of this scene from Monster's University)

Long story short I was so terrified that I had been caught breaking the rules that I think my own anxiety proved as punishment enough. The teacher laughed in disbelief when I tried to explain that I had been the only perpetrator that had sneaked in from recess. Once she convinced me that she knew another student was with me I told her I did not know who it was because they were in costume. Eventually she let me go. She even gave me some candy and told me that although I broke the rules she knew it was cold outside and could understand why I came in when I wasn’t supposed to.

I never dressed up for Halloween again (excepting of course the night years later when my sorority sisters refused to admit me to the costume party without a costume, and dressed me up like Malibu Barbie *sigh). I guess the lesson learned here is although Halloween may seem like the perfect day to commit crimes I would advise against it… especially if you are wearing clown shoes. You WILL get caught.   

*fun fact this is my 50th blog post*