Saturday, October 26, 2013

Spooopntaneous Surprises

Justin and I went for coffee this morning as we normally do on Saturdays. Ever since I quit caffeine it has been one of my favorite weekend pastimes. Sometimes I guess doing something you “shouldn’t” be doing is fun. We had to walk through some grass to get to his car. When I climbed into the passenger seat I couldn’t help but notice the smell of poop. I thought perhaps it was lingering morning breath despite having brushed my teeth. I remained silent as long as I could then finally I was like: “do you smell that poop? I think you stepped in dog poop.”

At this point we were already driving down a busy road. I could not shut up about the poop because the smell was so intense. I persisted to point the blame at Justin as he started to huff and puff and get frustrated. I repeatedly pointed at the bottom of my shoes saying things like ‘it’s not me, it must be you…’ and ‘you could eat off the bottom of my shoes.’ He kept asking what I wanted him to do since he was just trying to drive. Finally he pulled over at Idaho Central Credit Union and got out of the car to examine his shoes.

I noticed that the smell did not leave when he exited the vehicle. I watched as he wiped the bottom of his shoes all over the grass in front of a dozen or so bank patrons. He got back in the car and angrily said he knew for a fact it was not him. I reexamined my shoes and suddenly there was poop on the bottom of one of them. I tried to play it off but Justin wasn’t having it. He made me get out and wipe my shoes on the grass in front of everyone. I stared at the ground the entire time knowing that it was quite obvious what I was attempting to do. I watched as poop periodically dislodged itself from my slipper.

In a sulking manner I got back in the car and we drove in silence to the coffee shop. In my defense poop spontaneously appeared out of thin air and stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Obviously I was just having a psychic vision with my nose before it came on the scene. Anyway if I were Justin I would be more mad about the fact that poop can just spontaneously appear rather than being wrongly blamed as the culprit for tracking poop in the car… *sigh  

In unrelated news I stole this off of a friend's Facebook... If I were bald you can bet your ass this would be my Halloween costume. 

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