Donot Day

Today is National Donut Day. While I normally resist any form of American pride type events I had no other choice but to succumb to seven, yes SEVEN vegan donuts today. It all happened so fast it is hard to recount the events that aggregated to a bleak totality of complete and utter donut hell. I parked my ass on the couch when I arrived home and pulled up Facebook with the greasy debris still covering my fingertips. I scrolled though the countless health conscious posts; “I’m going to the gym,” “look at this photo of me in a swim suit,” “I lost five pounds I am just so amazing,” while smearing remnants of my feast on my iPhone screen. 

For half a second I felt guilty, but then I realized that I may not post selfies every other day or frequent the gym but I am as happy as a fat kid with cake, or me with cake, or me with donuts for that matter. I don’t mean that I am only happy when I am knee deep in junk food but I am happy pretty much all the time. That is saying something-because there are so many people that aren’t satisfied with their lives. I may have just had a gluttonous feast, but I am nowhere near being one of those dissatisfied people. Now if you will excuse me I need to roll into the bedroom and crawl into bed because my feast exhausted me. National Cat Day and National Donut Day all in one week… I do not know what to do with myself. 

PS: I hear tomorrow is National VCR day....