Friday, November 7, 2014

The Birds

Sometimes I get really lucky and Justin meets me for lunch; today was one of those days. Justin was kind enough to go in and order our teriyaki bowls and bring them out to the car where we could enjoy the lingering sun. It was so unusually warm for a November day that we had to crack the windows a bit to let in a bit of crisp breeze. All seemed was then that tragedy struck.

Poop had shot in the cracked window and landed in my food bowl, on my hand, hair face and all over the steering wheel. I sat dumbfounded for a few moments trying to determine what had happened. I literally had the window open 5 or 6 inches and somehow the bird had angled his asshole to precisely shoot his shit right into my food/lap area. Fortunately I carry hand sanitizer in my car since I often handle E. Coli and other harmful microorganisms in the lab I am in at school. I used the instant hand sanitizer to wash my face (feel the burn) and everywhere else that the poop had sprayed. Then I ate the rest of my food, avoiding the poop as best I could. No I'm kidding, sadly the food had to be thrown away. Hindsight; what I should have done was set the bowl out and allowed the devilish bird to eat his own poop-slathered food.

But all of that aside I am quite sure the real circumstances were that someone was in a such a hurry to deliver my late Hogwarts letter that they accidentally shat themselves while trying to complete their mission. If anyone who has connections to the wizzarding world is reading this; unfortunately I did not receive my letter and still unaware of how to find platform 9 3/4 here in the states. So if you could send a replacement owl that would be fantastic, preferably one who doesn't poop in my food.

Photo Credit: Harry Potter films

Photo Credit: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone book

Pigwidgeon from the Harry Potter films Photo Credit:

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