Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Drive By Shooting

If there is one thing that is extraordinarily uncomfortable in a professional setting it is when someone decides to do a drive by ass-ripping whilst i am in the midst of important phone calls with a waiting room full of patients. Today the culprit was busy doing some clerical work by my desk. I was sitting with two other associates when the shots were fired. I immediately looked expectantly at the baby in the waiting room and wondered if it needed a diaper change.

After about 1-2 minutes the smell was lingering like a particularly smelly trash bag which leaves its stench behind after it is taken out. I turned to the associate next to me in the most serious face i could manage and asked; 'do you smell that?' At this point I felt as though my eyes were going to burn right out of my head from the fumes. I could not understand why or how someone could have that noxious of gas.

The associate next to me calmly said; 'I thought that was you!' Then I could not stop laughing and I was terribly worried that everyone would definitely think it was me since I was having a fit. They were probably all thinking what is the matter with that gassy/possibly pooped her pants woman? I couldn't leave my post out of fear that when I left the smell would coincidentally follow me and thus I would even be more to blame.*sigh

Finally after a full five or six minutes the smell was gone. Never in my life have I smelled something so foul. Not even when I had food poisoning one hundred years ago. As to the culprit; well played my friend. Well played. You almost got away with it.

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