Die-astolic Pressure

I had my six hour anatomy and physiology class today. Much like every Saturday morning, I rolled out of bed at five a.m. I only slightly regretted my decision to stay up extra late night to watch "About Time" and pick on Justin by parading around in his tennis shoes wearing his t-shirt and backpack.

After three hours of lecture this morning our class headed over to the lab and completed our hands on experiments. Today we were studying blood pressure. Our group rotated with the blood pressure computer hookup thingy; I was last to go. Everyone's blood pressure was right on target until we got to me. My reading was 204/83... This means I apparently have stage two hypertension.

When I got home I was obviously affronted by this potential troubling news. To calm my nerves I devoured two salads, a bag of tortilla chips, a container of guacamole, and four different kinds of salsa. Next I did about 8 hours of homework because obviously homework isn't stressful at all... In all seriousness I am pretty sure the 204/83 reading was a mistake. I will make my way to Walgreens at some point this week, or next and make sure I am not dead while I play with the machine I was never allowed to play with as a child.

Mittens

Once upon a time (2007) I got pretty darn sick and had to relocate to New Hampshire to live with my family for four months. They live in a very rural area. An area that has a kind of small town feel where members of the town all grow up together than marry each other. They are uncomfortable when new people infringe on their territory. 

The first month/month and a half I was laid up after some surgery. Once I was mostly healed I purchased a gym membership, and I was able to sequester a job at a local restaurant. I thought I made a friend at the gym, and attended a party with him only to be called a “whore” by the girls there because I was wearing “slutty clothes” (consisted of Hollister jeans and a long sleeved shirt… I must have missed the memo that I was supposed to wear a red checkered flannel, cargo pants, snow boots and possibly grow a beard or be an outcast). 

The point I am trying to make here is that I was pretty lonely. I now am very fortunate to have an old friend that lives about 45 minutes away from my parents, but back then I was confined to the walls of my parents’ extremely large, curiously lonely house.  

One day when I arrived home from work I noticed a cat sitting on the pathway up leading to the front door. I glanced around the vacant yard wondering who she belonged to. I knelt down and she walked right up to me. She let me pet her for several minutes. I got up to go set my work things in the house. I came back outside a few minutes later and she was still there looking entirely content. Once more I knelt and she approached quickly eager for more petting. 

Every day when I left for work or the gym she would see me off. Every day when I got home she was there to greet me. She was my friend. She was a polydactyl kitty, meaning that she had an extra toe on each of her front paws, owing to that I called her Mittens. Soon my family members noticed her too and she made quite the impression. I begged and begged to have Mittens be an inside cat with our family but I lost my argument until she became pregnant and finally she was allowed inside. 

When the time came for me to return to Idaho I called my landlord to see if I could have a cat. He quickly refused despite the fact that Mittens had no teeth and couldn’t meow. Alas, I had to leave her behind but at least I knew she was indoors and in the care of my family. 

Over the years when I would visit for holidays Mittens was there to greet me when I arrived. Always looking at me with the same content face I had met her with all that time ago. I wondered what her past was, why she couldn’t meow, where all her teeth had gone… It was like she was just happy to be alive. She wasn’t a regular skittish cat, she was unafraid. 

Sadly it was discovered a few years back (after a series of seizures) that Mittens had an enlarged heart. I guess I should have known because why else would she be so loving. It was managed with medication but the vet had warned us that there would come a time when the medicine would stop working. That time finally came this past Tuesday. 

When Mittens stopped eating, and got down to 4.8lbs my mom took her to the vet where she discovered that not only was her heart so large it was pressing against her spinal column but also her liver was enlarged and hard as a rock. The vet advised that we put her down. So that is what my mom had done. My mom said Mittens looked entirely content the whole time. I am glad that we could give Mittens a good life and a family to love her for the past seven years. I can only guess at where she came from but I just know it can’t have been the best of circumstances. 

When I go for a visit this spring to bid my uncle farewell at his memorial service I know that my parent’s house won’t quite feel the same. But I also know that when my time comes to leave this earth, Mitten’s will be there on the path to greet me, and welcome me home.

Diet Cupcakes

I almost went crazy today. 

The other day while I was cooking dinner Justin was talking about second dinner. We had to return a movie (anime flick called “Wolf Children” fantastic I might add) and he made a remark while I was cooking that he should have waited to return the movie so that we could get curly fries. A few moments later I was referred to as a “hungry hungry hippo.” Suddenly it dawned on me, I have created a monster and that monster is me. (I guess Justin too by default)

I decided that I needed to go on a diet. Today started off great. By 2:00pm-ish all I had consumed was an all-fruit smoothie. I decided to visit Justin at work during his lunch.  We talked for several minutes when suddenly this happened…

Justin: I have a confession

Me: Oh… okay?

Justin: Friday at work I ate three Super_owl cupcakes…

Me: And you didn’t stop and get me a cupcake on your way home?

Justin: And Monday I had two more…

Me:…My diet is over because I need to compensate for the atrocity that you committed.

Long story short I ended up with the following

Top-Vegan chocolate cupcakes from Whole Foods, Clockwise from top-Apricot bar from Co-Op, 2 no bake vegan peanut butter/chocolate cookies, the best chocolate bar EVER, and apple cinnamon vegan cake from Whole Foods

Also I am pretty sure I know why someone couldn't get his foot out of his mouth when he "couldn't remember" what was happening at work all day. Someone was prancing his big butt around eating cupcakes all day. 

There is always tomorrow for my diet. 

Speaking of Super_owls... 

I found this on Etsy. They don't make this type of owl any more but they sure do make some cute elephants and other owls. http://www.etsy.com/listing/151569811/fluffy-superman-owl

I Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny This

Me: Tell me about your day at work today

Justin: Well I went to work... and I took a lunch, then I came home.

Me: Okay... Well what did you actually do at work?

Justin: I went there at 8:00am and clocked in. Then I did something until my break.

Me: What did you do?

Justin: Worked I think.

Me: You can neither confirm nor deny this?

Justin: No

Apparently I am not the only exhausted one in these parts.

In other news, as I have stated before, both Justin and I hate to grocery shop. We often exchange passive aggressive text messages when a trip to the grocery store is in the near future.

We usually both say we don't want to go to the store, then we both feel bad and we are like fine 'I'll go,' then we fight over who is going... ahh the little things in life.

I wouldn't read this unless you are a fan of the Harry Potter series

So it is that time of year again; the big game is happening. I can’t help but notice the oddity that surrounds the ‘whatever you do don’t say that word which signifies the big game’ situation. It reminds me so much of Voldemort so I think that Voldemort must play football.

I tried to Google 'does Voldemort play football?' and I got this:

I thought it was pretty cute so yeah...

And this:

I am not sure what team this guy is on but I will root for him today. There are several photos of him on the internets where he resembles Voldy

Anyway in book seven of the HP series (spoiler alert) saying Voldemort’s name is taboo, and causes death eaters to apparate to your exact location. This of course is very bad. Well, all this name avoidance of the whole big game thing is absurd. Whoever trademarked it must be a Voldemort fan, or perhaps Voldemort himself. 

In other news; I saw this article where Emma Watson interviewed JK Rowling who had some pretty interesting things to say...

 

Yo'Land'a Penis If You're Not Careful

So in one of my labs we have anatomical models which we are supposed to utilize for learning various veins, arteries, nerves etc. I sit right by this female torso model and she keeps me company in class since sometimes I walk around with underwear in my hood so I don’t have any friends in that class.

Yesterday after the lab activities we were told we could study the anatomical models or go home. I prepared to remove Yolanda’s (that is what I named her) breasts so that I could familiarize myself with her innards. I kept reaching up but I felt so bad for needing to take her boobs off. Anyway like five minutes went by and I realized that there were only like two other students in the lab so I bid Yolanda farewell, and headed out the door.

I was going to take a picture of her so that I could study her later at home (not in the gross way), but 

I felt like maybe she wouldn’t want me to have naked photos of her. And if Toy Story is real, that is not someone I want haunting me for the rest of my life. Anyway I tried to Google a photo of what she looks like but this is the closest thing that I could come up with.

Add caption

I am 99% sure that Yolanda is not a transvestite but this at least illustrates the boob situation.  We have Rhonda (the male torso model) so this is where my logic is stemming from with the whole penis fiasco. I am sure you will all be on the edge of your seats until next Saturday so that I can investigate this penis, or lack thereof. Bottom line I thought there was some kind of connection between Yolanda and me… I think maybe we can relate on certain things.

**EDIT- Yolanda is a girl, she lacks a penis... 

Because I Remind Myself of Myself

I woke up at five this morning to prepare for my Saturday class. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have six hours of class on Saturday was a total nut job...oh wait that was me I guess :) I was also the brilliant one that decided to take 17 credits this semester, alongside volunteering at the hospital, and starting a new job. Okay, okay, enough of my pity party.

I suppose what I am trying to tell you is I am super busy. So busy in fact that I was too daft to realize that I have been carrying around an aqua colored thong in my sweatshirt all day... Like the hood part, I think? I'm not sure where the hell it came from but nonetheless I wore it proudly to my three hour lecture and lab.

This was me today, walking around with underwear all up in my hood.

This experience reminded me very much of a calculus class I took a year or so ago where I tried to argue with the math professor that 600/40 is 24 when indeed it is not.. In front of the whole class I argued and argued, only to eventually key the figures in on my calculator while everyone was staring at me. I was obviously affronted by this disturbing truth that someone changed 600/40=24 to 600/40=15... That, or I had finally lost my math skills. Lose-lose either way. After my embarrassing display the woman next to me told me I had my tank top on inside out. I did. It was one of those ones with the shelf bras in it, so it was obvious. That was the same year I ate an earring back during calculus on accident instead of swallowing my anti-nausea medication... Me and calculus have some great memories. I put those stories on my fb wall when they happened but one thing I never did reveal is that one time I had a pair of panties in my purse. I had forgotten that I put them in there so I was like 'hmm what is this???' and pulled the damn things out right in front of the same girl that had witnessed me and all of my stupidity earlier in the semester. That was fun.

So after 100 years of boring explanations... I guess the bottom line is, I remind myself of myself and that is good. So philosophical... With that revelation, and all the panties I have been carrying around I would say that today has been... rather whimsical.