Monday, August 12, 2013

I don't kiss and tell... or maybe I do

Once upon a time I had a massive sweet tooth… Oh wait I still do. Throughout the years it has gotten me in trouble on many occasions. Still brightly stuck in my mind is an occurrence which took place approximately five or six years ago. I had a full time job and was going to college. I had somehow managed to finagle myself a day off from everything to take care of some errands. I decided to have a bag of raspberry Hershey kisses (pre vegan days) along for my copilot.

I happily sat with the bag open between my legs, eating away at my stash while driving around town. I started to get strange looks when I was in the grocery store. I thought nothing of it and continued on my way making five or six more stops around town. All the while strange looks were being shot in my direction. I finally decided to return to my apartment.

When I arrived home I still vividly remember one of the maintenance men staring in the direction of my ass as I was wrestling the various bags out of the car. I got up into my apartment and set everything down then turned around and tried to look at the top of my ass. From what I could see everything looked just fine. I breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps all too soon. I went into my bathroom and turned around to find smashed Hershey kisses all over my bottom. It was great… red and brown located right where poop would probably be if I had shat myself. 

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