Thursday, December 11, 2014

Eat Seat

Last night Justin had to stay late at work for some kind of training seminar. This was totally sad because now that we have an upstairs and a downstairs the time that we spend together feels limited. Most of that time involves me chasing Justin up the stairs with a bag of chips in my hand trying to spank him since he has better worked out the angles of our house and is able to drive by spank me without me having any idea until it is already over. This may be in part due to the fact that I can’t stay out of the pantry eating snacks; consequentially my rump is exposed perfectly for his sneak attacks. Or perhaps I should call them snack attacks because that makes more sense. 

Anyway in an effort to calm my sorrow I decided to eat food from my new favorite vegan restaurant on Justin’s couch. You see he bought this couch and loveseat and stuffed arm chair for our bonus room. Ever since then he has been very particular about what I can and cannot do on the couch. “Don’t leave 25 bottle caps all over the couch,” “don’t eat there,” “were you just touching the couch? I thought I said you could only look.” I find this highly annoying since I need to eat anywhere I want, any way, any how. So I plopped down with my tub of veganaise (the vegan mayonnaise) and slathered a rather large helping onto my sandwich before taking each bite. It was a very strange feeling since I missed Justin so much, yet I could not stop doing exactly what he asked me not to do. 

Tragedy never did strike, thank goodness. Unless you want to count the fact that Justin realized I had eaten on his couch the moment he got home because of where I had set my dirty plate in the kitchen. But I am pretty sure after all of the times that I have eaten yet haven’t spilled (on the couch) maybe he will allow me to have a feast in the bonus room. Or if not, maybe he will just hand craft me an award for being so good at breaking the rules. Hopefully that award will be cake with something like 'I worship the ground you walk on,' or 'I will obey your every command,' on it. Now if you will excuse me I have to leave for class in a half an hour and I am feeling awfully hungry. I must relocate to my favorite eating spot so I can indulge in some toast.

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