Jesus Porn and Babies... It Must Be Monday

Today was Monday so I got to volunteer. I headed up to the pediatric ward to deliver a balloon and card. I located the proper room and pranced in. It was empty except for a baby. 

Me: “Hi I have a delivery for you, this uh... Jesus balloon.”

Baby: 

Note this is NOT the actual baby but pretty damn near close to what she looked like. Photo Credit: http://weird4u.blogspot.com/2012/01/weird-baby-face.html

I was like: “Uhh… okay, well I will just put it here for you…Shall I?” *motioning to table

Baby: 

Me: while backing out of the room “get well soon little baby…”

It was pretty weird. I have never been in a pediatric room without the parents present. I felt kinda bad for the poor little thing. And it totally looked at me like I was the strangest being it had ever seen (I probably was). But maybe she was just trying to make me smile. 

So I went back down to my lobby desk and continued about my volunteer duties. The old guy next to me read back a valet ticket over his radio stating 'L' and in "lascivious" 

My volunteer partner turned to me and asked what that word meant. I had it mixed up with "Leviticus" as in the Hebrew Bible Leviticus but I did not know how to describe it to her so I mumbled something about the bible and mundanely pulled up Google to search it for her. I keyed in lascivious and of course a bunch of porn came up and I was like

no just kidding, except I probably did look like a lot like that because it totally showed a bunch of butts and boobs on the main search page. It took a few seconds for it to register for me. So now I might get fired from volunteering because I scare babies and look up porn. *sigh, Happy Monday.