Friday, January 30, 2015

Ifs, Ands, & Butts

Justin picked me up by my butt last night. I know what you are thinking; this girl needs to get out of her house because now she is having hallucinations. But (pun intended) actually I am not having hallucinations. I think it might be all of the headstands I have been doing, there really is no telling but my behind has started to lift up back to where it was before I started eating cake every day. This is good because I am not all diet/exercise crazy, and I am thinking of starting this pyramid scheme for how my handstand/armstand/headstands can help your butt defy the laws of gravity.  

Some testing still needs to be done. There is a possibility that my arse is much like slow drying cement and it just kind of starts dripping up my back when I am upside down. I may have to employ Justin to see if he can sculpt my butt into a narwhal or possibly a cat because I really want a cat and I am starting to think that I might never get one. If my bottom is moldable than perhaps I will kind of be part cat. And that could really be the ticket to making me feel better when I realize I wasn’t building muscle unintentionally this whole time with headstands.  

If my bottom isn’t like slow drying cement, and is getting stronger from headstands and the like than I am totally patenting this idea before someone else does. In the meantime my gluteus maximus will continue to become stronger. Next thing you know instead of Justin picking me up by my bottom, my bottom will be picking up Justin because it will be THAT strong.

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